Friday, November 7, 2008

Down with the sickness

To quote Charlie Brown

... I'm sick!
For the first time in over a year, I'm sick. I rarely get sick. I get sick about as often as I get headaches.. and I've had a headache since I got sick.. go figure.
Sure, I have allergies that come and go, but that's not being sick.
Sick... sucks!
Especially when it starts off as a sore throat, and the next day is hacking out the rainbow-of-lungbutter in the shower. (Something about the moist air, and the hot water on the back...mmmmmmmsoothing)

Well.. I've been wanting some this is a perfect excuse for it.
Funny, how sometimes the things we want, we never really get.
I've wanted a few days of nothing but time to myself for a few weeks now..and everytime I started to get it.. I'd get bored, and call up a buddy and go hang out.
Well.. now it's time to just .. take time. Be alone, be still... recuperate somewhat.

The Lord knows I've got too much time to think to begin with, what with looking for work that can be scheduled around school, and school, that ends at noon, with very little homework. WAYYYYYYY too much time to think about things. But that's not why I want solitude.

See.. I don't like people. I know what people are. What every single person is capable of.. the evil that seethes and bleeds within our hearts and souls.. but that's not why I don't like people. ..I'm just more comfortable by myself. I can handle social settings and such.. but the smaller groupings the better.
And sometimes, when I'm around people too much.. I have to get away. Find solace in solitude and just.. be renewed.

Another thing is.. dreams.
I don't dream, not normally. I close my eyes.. time passes, and I open them again.
But every so often, I have a dream. I remember all my dreams.. not all OF my dreams, but all my dreams.. that is to say : I remember having them, but not every aspect of them.
And lately.. I've been having some odd dreams about things I've been praying about.
Freaky. And not in a bad way, but also not a good way. Just that rare mellow freaky.. makes you go `woah.. freaky.. okay, now where'd I put the butter for my toast?`
So maybe.. sick aside, solitude can garner me something more than simple recuperation and time to myself : Focus.

Have you ever tried to pick out the strains of a harpsichord while the orchestra plays along.. in the middle of morning-rush-traffic with the windows down, while the kids scream from the backseat and the guy who's keeping pace next to your car is cranking his own noise??...
Sometimes I think that's what life is really life.. when we lose our focus.

So on that note, I'm going to down some drugs(not that kind, I don't do that.. when I mention `drugs` I mean either prescription or over-the-counter) and hit the sack.. and see what I can do about refocusing.

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