It's funny.... well.. to me it's funny.. I find a lot of things funny that most folks wouldn't crack a smirk at. Helps that I'm twisted. ^_^
In my former class, I kep tabs with some folks.. and there's this kid (yes, if you're 21, you're still a kid) who is looking at divorce info online.. so I talk with him a bit..find out he's looking at divorcing his wife.
First.. I'm a bit floored this dude is married..at 21(and for a bit of a while yet)... and second, why divorce, man?!
So we talk a little bit.
I'm not one to `share Christ` with someone in a situation where there's more thatn just them and I talking.. no, no open-air preacher here, not even close. So while I would have liked to talk with him more, and share some simple truths I know..other students trickling in gave me cause of prevention. Not that I won't be able to talk with this guy again, mind you.
We can always grab a falafel and chat ..huzzah for falafel!
Anyhow.. so I talk with this guy.. ask him some simple questions that cut through a lot of things and really just reveal where he's at..and how his heart is doing through all this. A little history and some listening really go a long way towards seeing potential solutions for temporary problems. Ask him if he loves her.. the answer is yes. So I tell him (and really ponder how often I need to take my own advice....) if he loves her.. fight for it. Make divorce the last option.. the option tha sits right behind growing old and dieing. And he comes back with a good question.. my answer to this question may not be the best.. but it's better than divorce, in my opinion.
~What do you do when you're tired of fighting, when you just don't want to fight anymore?~
...well.. you take a bit of `shore leave` from the war, rest up, and get back in there...
Doesn't help that there's someone else plying their part in this.. on campus no less. Could easily make things a lot worse if buddyboy is sincere in wanting to get things right and on-track with his wife.
Having always been a single man (except for when I'm told otherwise.. which always comes as a shock... yes ladies, I am that blind to things)..one could argue that I have no plausible grounds on which to offer this fella advice from.
Well, I stick with the bible and that `what God has brought together, let no one rend asunder` and that marriage is for life. Couple that with the fact that the best way to learn is from someone else's mistakes.. and I've learned from many (including my own)... I'd say I'm qualified to offer my opinion, if not some simple advice.
Now.. I'm of two minds on this.
One is.. fight for it. Fight with every last breath and fibre of opportunity in your being.. if you love her.. fight like it.
And the other is.. (and this applies more to me than to this guy).. if you love them.. give them what they want. If they want you to go..then go. If they want you to stay, stay.
There's a wonderful bit of dialogue from the movie `Law of Attraction` with Pierce Brosnan and Julie-Anne Moore... both being divorce-lawyers.. each working for the opposite-gendered couple of a fashion designer and rock/pop star.. they wind up thinking they're married after imbibing too much as a local festival and such..
And during the legal battle.. Pierce brings something up that was confidential ..and Julie-Anne Moore states she wants a divorce.
Pierce says he doesn't believe in divorce, and she gives him a look of acidic-daggery-misery.
~Oh, don't give me that look. Yes I'm a divorce attourney.. but it's just a job. I don't believe in divorce.. I believe in love. And I believe that if you love someone, you give them what they want. .....so.... if you want a divorce... I'll give it to you.~
Dayum, maaaaaannn.... but then.. love sacrifices its'self on every reef and rock and shaol in the waters so that the one who is loved might stay afloat and not drown, no??
So keep fighting... Give'em what they want.. what they tell you they want ('cause we ain't none of us at all mind-readers)... but fight for it.
And that's the beauty of tragedy.. it brings out in shining example a true side of ourselves.
In any tragedy.. we either find ourselves.. or we find ourselves lacking.