The Hard Things

Changes.
It's been said that the only reason anyone changes, is because they either WANT to.. or they HAVE to(usually, or else they'll die).

Well, I -need- to. Not because I have to.. I can continue on my way and not die.. and I kind of don't want to, either.. because change means.. new things. And I enjoy my unstable routines of tedium to a certain degree.

Changes.
They come.. usually when we're not looking.
Sometimes we seek them out. As I am doing at the moment.

One of these changes.. is trying to live by the moral standards in my life.
And that ain't easy! We'd all agree that killing someone is bad. Sleeping around is stupid. Doing drugs and getting liquored up can be quite detrimental.
But what about lying? Nobody likes to lied to. But we all lie.
A friend and I were once having a conversation, during which I complained that I can lie to people, and they'll eat it up by the shovel-full..but when I tell someone the blatant truth, they look at me like I'm full of it.
We went out a few days later, grabbed some pizza. Now, this friend is black(african-american, if you want to be PC... african-canadian if you want to be Macintosh)..and while we're eating our pizza... I stop eating, and just stare at her eyes.
Eventually she stops chewing and looks at me..and asks `what?`.
Staring her full in the eyes, I say `Nothing.. it's just that you have the bluest eyes I have ever seen.` ... she almost blushes, stammers a `aww, that's so swee...WAIT A MINUTE`.
Point proven.

How about stealing?
We tend to be quite protective of our junk. Territorial. Even the most generous of us, doesn't like it when someone mistreats our gear, or takes our stuff.
And there's the rub.

I have recently been bombarded with Assaults of Conscience.
See.. I love music. If music were a woman.. yeh.. let's not go there.
And, I've got a collection on my laptop. Well, had.
A lot of it was stuff I'd hear on the radio, or from a streaming radio station, and go `hey, that sounds good.` and go download it.
Justifying that I've owned the cd/tape/8track/record (feeling old now) at one point in my life was no longer working as a valid defense. Have to get rid of it.

My conscience will no longer let me live with stolen music.
I tried hashing this out in prayer.
I mean.. c'mon, God... I've had entire music libraries stolen.. bought and purchased cd's.. stolen by hoodlums. Rotten %^$!@tards even used my pillow cases to cart everything away in!
And I'm no better than they are.. while I didn't use the artist's pillow cases.. I still stole their works. Doesn't matter if I owned it at one point in time or another.. I had it.. I enjoyed it.. it's gone now. If I really want it.. go buy it again.

But.. but what about stuff that isn't available anymore? Stuff that's been discontinued or been recalled and destroyed and such?
No answer on that. ....better to err on the side of caution, I think.

Okay.. music is fine.. but what about movies and such? I'm aware that while you can't record tv shows in Canada.. the thing for downloading them is not ironclad yet (though, I haven't been keeping up to date on that...if I'm wrong, tell me) ...and while I don't watch much tv, I'll download a few episodes of some shows.. watch'em and delete them when I'm done watching them. ....So where does the line get drawn?

The line gets drawn..as I've learned.. with ..what.. 1st Corinthians 12?
Basically.. it says something like `I have freedom to do things. But not everything is good for me. And while I have this freedom, I won't be a slave to this liberty.`
Slave to freedom??... Wow. Hard to think on... but try and tell someone who lives in the north-west hemisphere that they can't do something.. like.. oh.. walk across the street (jaywalking, which is still illegal)..and you've tied their knickers in a twist! But tell them they can't cross the train-tracks while a locomotive is zooming by, and they won't bat a lash.

Is it good for me?
Does it hurt others?
Does it honour God?

Those are some of the changes I'm trying to implement.. to live that.
If it's not good for me - physically, mentally, spiritually... if it will hurt someone else.. and if it dishonours God, then I don't want to do those things.

And so.. small steps..
Goodbye music I haven't bought.
While the beats will be missed, knowing I've done the right thing is a better groove.
*sigh*